Just where I'm at

It's a very strange and unstable feeling to not completely know who you are or where you're going. To know that what you thought about yourself or even where you thought you were going has been stripped completely. That's how I feel today. And I feel a bit lost to be honest. Jesus said to me, "It makes you want to cling to anything that makes sense. But Ash, I am the only thing that makes sense. Hold onto me and trust." Easier said than done. My heart is a swirl of emotions at the moment. Fear. Anxiety. Grief. And it's funny to know that this process, this crash, needed to happen. The stripping away needed to happen and it's not bad, it's good. It doesn't FEEL very good though. It FEELS very scary. It's funny what He calls and sees as good. He also said to me, "You can move out of this very vulnerable place or you can hold onto Me in it and trust My love for you." So Jesus, here I am. Choosing to trust You when I feel quite scared actually. Choosing to believe what You say is true. Choosing to hold on with whatever I have within me which doesn't feel like much. But it has to be. Right now, it has to be.