The letting go process is being redefined for me

I have been thinking about what it means to let go of something. Surrender something. I'm struggling through a lot of fear. Mainly fear around the future and not having purpose. Yesterday morning before work I was feeling overwhelmed by it and said to Jesus, "I let it go." In a way that expected this immediate relief. Almost as if I could control it, let it go, move on, and be done and then I'm frustrated that it doesn't work that way. I'm frustrated with myself. I felt like He stopped me and said that's not how it works, "It's about standing in the midst of that fear, the reality of it, and trusting Me." THAT is letting go of it. I think I've had a misconstrued idea of what it means to surrender something to Jesus. For instance, things that I want and dream of that are not bad. It's not about KILLING all of those things by 'surrendering' them. Like letting go of fear, need, anger, etc. It's more like not allowing them to drive you. To drive your actions or emotions. It's looking at the fear saying, yep, you're there, you're real but I trust Jesus and my trust in HIM is more real than what the fear feels like. Eventually :) So yes, what I'm feeling is real but it doesn't have to take me down or paralyze me. The things that I want are real but they don't have to frustrate me. Hmmmmm......more to come.