My current question

The question I'm currently asking myself is, "How do you stand empty?" What does it look like? To allow the emptying and to be ok with it? To be ok with how it feels and the emotions it brings up? To not act out of a place of need? Some of what I've felt the last several months has scared me. Choices I've contemplated that are completely irrational and illogical. It's scary what need, loneliness and emptiness will cause you to consider. Those emotions and/or realities play quite the war on someone's heart and it is indeed quite the war in my heart at the moment. My emotions have felt pulled in so many different directions recently that I feel incredibly overwhelmed at times and I wonder if I'm losing my mind. Lol, maybe I am slightly? So how do you stand empty and be ok with it? How do you completely trust Jesus to meet you there when the need screams so much louder at times? I guess it really does come down to choice. Choosing what is right. And what is right is sometimes so much harder in the beginning. I think too, I've been expecting more of myself in this process than Jesus does. I'm pretty sure I do that WAY too often. I have made mistakes and I will continue to. But perhaps I need to remember it's about the small steps and choices. I don't have it figured out. I don't know how to stand completely empty and be ok with it and maybe that process takes time like everything else. I'm pretty sure you don't realize emptiness as a reality of your heart and are simply ok with it and accept it. Lol. Who does? Maybe I just answered some of my own questions :)