Things

It's funny how Jesus speaks to us. When we let Him, He makes things so clear. I apparently have this closed door. Locked and bolted! Someone is currently trying to break off the lock with a lead pipe. And it really has so much more to do with hope than anything else. So many shadows locked away behind that door. So many fears. So many insecurities. And probably so many hopes. So many dreams. Locked away. And the door has been shut and secure for so long. It's painful when someone begins to break the door down. When you're protected self no longer feels protected. Instead feels really vulnerable and unsure of whether or not you really even want that door opened in the first place. But He has promised me life. And He is kneading out the insecurities and fears in order that I would (as He told me tonight) "Really rise Ashley." He has promised me that my heart would not get trashed this time. That I'm to hope in Him and not man. That I'm to come out in confidence and security because of His love for me. So many things going on inside of me. So many good and scary things. I'm terrified. Hope is kind of a painful thing. It's kind of scary. Stepping out is always scary.