Monday, July 12, 2010
Disappointment
What do you do with it? I'm not entirely sure. It doesn't seem to go away in a moment or even days. It's kind of an exhausting emotion. Sometimes it means you've hoped, risked and opened yourself up and then nothing. You're left with this overwhelming feeling. I don't actually know what the balance is between wanting things and that being ok. Between trust in a Father who is absolutely good, which doesn't mean you get anything you hope for. It's a weird tension I'm struggling not to simply shut down within. I don't know why you risk? What do you hope for and in? I think I haven't had good wisdom or teaching on this subject in the past. Or even decent encouragement into bigger things. Dreams. Whatever. This almost needs to turn into a prayer for me. A prayer for help. I don't know how. I don't know why. But I just know I'm confused and struggling and don't understand and I need Your peace. More than anything I need Your peace. And an answer on what do you do with disappointment?
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Always remember that you are not alone. Even if God is there, it seems like sometimes you are alone, but you have company. I have been praying for you; understanding or sensing that you are in a hard place. He will lead you out of it - I don't know when or how, but it will happen. Put yourself in a state of readiness, not seeking, but waiting with anticipation. Read Psalm 139 again, and again.
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